


Hurting

by RavennaWritesFanfiction



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Character Death, Death, Gen, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 08:38:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17179601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavennaWritesFanfiction/pseuds/RavennaWritesFanfiction
Summary: When Spock finds some concerning Log entries from a Lieutenant, he has Leonard talk with her. Scotty makes a painful discovery and the crew of the Enterprise learns a lesson about extended stays in space.





	Hurting

**Author's Note:**

> This is a small little something that came to me when reading quotes. It got me thinking about depression and suicide. So here is a little star trek fic. Please, no hate. If you don't like talking about it or reading it, then don't read it. I am a major advocate for Suicide Prevention and I understand that this is a touchy subject. If you need someone to talk to, message me.

“To die would be an adventure all the same.” Leonard was a bit taken aback as Spock showed him the latest log entry of a Lieutenant. He hadn’t thought her suicidal; however, this wasn’t the first log entry to cause concern between him and Spock in the last month.

Depression and suicidal thoughts were common among crew members during extended stays in the black, but he hadn’t pegged her as the kind. She was a typically happy-go-lucky and bubbly girl. She was sweet and caring; on many occasions, she had caught the turbo lift door, so he wouldn’t have to wait to head up to the bridge. She would go out of her way to help everyone around her.

Leonard was faced with the uncomfortable task of calling her in for a discussion about her entries. He always felt weird about talking to crew members about things like this. Not because it was an uncomfortable topic, but because everyone took it differently and you never could tell what would trigger the patient. Some handle the conversation with calm ease, happier that someone noticed their pain and wanted to help. Others were indignant that he would imply that there was anything wrong. He just wanted to help them.

When he called the Lieutenant into his office that afternoon, he prepared for the worst. He had always liked the girl and although they never really spoke, he would consider her a friend. Now he was faced with talking to her about her thoughts of death.

She knocked a few minutes later and Leonard steeled himself for the impending conversation. When she entered, she was wearing her lounge clothes. It was her day off and she hadn’t expected being called in. She was more than a little embarrassed by her appearance. She had just wanted to spend the day reading and writing, but now she was sitting in the office of the CMO for a reason unknown to her.

“Lieutenant (y/l/n), I’m sorry to call you in here on your day off, but I am afraid it is rather important. God, I don’t know how to say this, so I am just going to dive in. Commander Spock and I are worried about your well-being. Some of your more recent Log entries have been rather… dark. I just want to talk with you and make sure you’re are handling the duration of this mission well and that you are alright.”

“I appreciate your concern, but I am a little confused as to what entries would be concerning. Do you have an example? That may help me explain the feeling behind the entry.” Leonard was impressed. He was also thankful that you were trying to work with him rather than against him.

“” To die would be an adventure all the same.” That is the entry from today. Commander Spock brought it to me a few minutes before I commed you.” Leonard felt dirty having just read back her private log. It was an invasion of her privacy and she had every right to be upset if she got upset. She turned bright red. “You don’t need to be embarrassed, I just want to make sure you are alright. That’s my job.”

“I’m embarrassed because that wasn’t meant for the logs. I have been reading and writing in my spare time. I have a character who is kind of dark and when I think of quotes or phrases to include about the character, I write them down on my PADD. I’m afraid that I have accidentally recorded a few in the wrong document and it has caused you and Commander Spock to waste your time. I am perfectly fine, and I trust that you know I would come to you the moment that changes. I am greatly touched that you two care about me enough to call me in. Even if it is your job.” Leonard was embarrassed this time.

As you were exiting Leonard’s office, you heard his comm go off and you could hear Scotty on the other end. One of his Ensigns had failed to show up for Alpha Shift, so he decided to check up on him. When he didn’t answer, he had Jim open the door with his override. The ensign was lying in bed and he was stone cold, the bottle of pills still in his hand.

Scotty was hysterical. Leonard raced past you and you were hot on his heels. He had to take care of the ensign’s body, but Scotty was your friend and you had to take care of him. Scotty told you that the ensign had been a little down lately. His daughter had been born after they had left for the five-year mission and she just turned two. It pained him to hear his daughter call his brother daddy. Scotty blamed himself. He should have reported the mood shift, but he hadn’t. Now the ensign was gone.

There was a lesson to be learned from the whole ordeal: sometimes we overlook the signs because we don’t want to believe those around us are hurting that badly, other times, we are quick to see pain where there is none. At the end of the day, we can’t know how others are doing, all we can do is make sure they know we are there for them. And for those who are not saved, we have to let those who are left behind know they are not alone in their hurt.


End file.
